The Coronavirus Hassle in Kogi State: The Dystopian Story

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When the scary image of carpenters nailing coffins nonstop surfaced on social and mainstream media, everyone became afraid of an outbreak of coronavirus in Wuhan. Everyone, except Dystopians.

Dystopians would take precaution only when things got out of hand. The ugly images from Italy didn’t move them neither did the unsightly images from Spain, where leagues of overwhelmed carpenters were seen hammering coffins from morning to the next morning.

They referred to the virus as government’s moneymaking scheme with a condescending mockery in their tone. They boasted of how their black skin is tough for the virus to penetrate.

Ebullient and self-confident, such declarative posturing, not backed with substance, was neatly packaged and sold to the world at the onset of the pandemic. Everyone wondered why the incidence among black skin people seemed low. Perhaps, there is something in the genes of the African, scientists wondered.

The Dystopian government, disposed to over exaggeration, refused to close its borders despite claims of the infection in some states. Experts prepared and forwarded recommendations to the government, but the government advanced its reasons that it is impossible to close borders, assuring the hoi polloi that the measures put in place will prevent coronavirus from gaining entrance into the country.

After about four weeks of relative calm, an unnamed foreigner flew in with the infection, sequel by Baka, a statesman who returned from overseas then, gradually the figure rose from two to about 24,077 cases of coronavirus infection in Dystopia with 558 deaths.

The magnificent Senate building became useless as the N’Assembly refused to assemble in their venerated hallow chamber. The judiciary also ran for cover.

Spurred by the rising infections, politicians and the helpless masses tried all manner of self medication. They ingested Vitamin C, tumeric, anointing oil and Kakaraka, a herbal combination made from carefully selected roots, to fortify themselves against the dreadful indifferent virus. Little did they know it was a suicidal ideation as shadows of death queued in wait for exposed individuals.

The Dystopian government did all they could to slow the virus from spreading, including handwashing and lockdown. Tried as they may however, positive cases of the virus continued to rise. The unbiased virus didn’t spare royalty neither did it spare fame or fortune. All became equal. 

The Dystopian government was relentless in their effort to find a solution but as capricious NCDC continued to experiment measures and guidelines to prevent the virus from spreading, a young brave leader rose from the seat of power in Central State, lifted up his hands towards heaven and declared his state free from the infection.

His declarative dismissal of coronavirus by the wave of hand became a complex political controversy that flamed the unfamiliar state into limelight.

The sleeping Central State soon went mainstream. Everyone sought to know the brave leader’s secret weapon against the novel virus. Google was happy to display the young man in his full glory when a sea of people swam the Google search engine to know more about the stouthearted leader. He appears in blue kaftan, some times a white one, a bulky gold watch, white alligator shoes, matching traditional cap. He has a serious facial gesture as if it were chiseled by a cheesed off artist. But a fleeting of a smile do drift across his face like a shadow when his people offer him praises.

As his popularity grew, a band of curious NCDC staff decided to visit the state to learn the source of the governor’s power and to help him treat infected patients should any be found. When they arrived the leader’s residence, he refused a handshake, as oracle had instructed him.

The visitors ignored the governor’s behavior and presented medical gifts to him. He asked them to taste the gift before he would agree to accept them but the visitors declined. The governor became angry. His eyes swam in his sockets, bloodshot. He lifted himself up from his majestic chair, and made known his titles to the visitors by saying; I’m the white lion himself, I’m the war and the fight.

Wanting to impress them further, he took the visitors to the lab were his liquid metal vaccine were manufactured. But when they asked the greathearted leader to submit his formula and his Covid-19 magical website for examination at their own lab, the governor threw his visitors out through the window the Indaboski style. And accused them of prescribing wrong medication for his people.

While the NCDC representatives went home to lick their wounds, the Governor continued to insist that the State does not harbour any trace of the virus. Politicians who befriended a faction of the virus want to make money out of the innocent masses using scare tactics, so, the government enjoined, and the virus seemed to be in agreement with governor’s claim.

That was the beginning of a mysterious cooperation, however.

It was observed that whenever the virus infect any citizen of Central State, the governor heals them by saying; “there is no coronavirus in my state”. And whoever doubts the governor’s healing power risk having their names published on newspaper. Such person is labeled as an alarmist, and a planter of false information with the intention to cause panic.

NCDC would later record three confirmed cases of the infection on their website to get back at the governor for manhandling their staff. They never returned to the state but occasionally send random message that reads: “There is no verified home remedy for COVID-19. The best ways to protect yourself are to wear a mask, practice physical distancing & wash your hands often”

– Attah Soskills Solomon wrote from Kogi State.


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