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Ladies and gentlemen, fathers and mothers I come to you as a son not to heap blames on you but to reawaken us from slumber to responsibility. I will also beseech our potential fathers and mothers, regardless of your language, colour and creed to give me your listening ears as we speak on matter that have pose serious threat to humanity and society at large. In every boy there is a father and in everyone girl there is a mother. For this reason we cannot afford to turn deaf ears to this very important subject bordering on good parenting.
When Taylor Hanson said, “Having a baby is a life-changer. It gives you a whole other perspective on why you wake up every day.” he was not talking of normal night call at dusk neither was he talking about waking up at dawn, he was referring to the responsibility and duties tied to parenting.
Ladies and gentlemen, I will not be ashamed to use myself and family as living proof of parenting provided it will better our mind set.
Recently I begin a research on reason why there is a systematic increase in criminal activities in our land. Why corruption is so high that virtually 90% of us enjoy qualm. I came to the conclusion, that criminality and corruption is as a result of failures accruing from parenting aside from other factors which I won’t be delving into today. Our mentality as parent must be changed and we must awake to our primary responsibility.
What Is Parenting?
Be or act as a mother or father to (someone).
synonyms: bring up, be the parent of, look after,take care of, rear, raise, nurture
Parenting or child rearing is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.
It is crucial we understand this because our society is in need of real parent who will help us raise our children the way they should go by transferring that value system we are known for and all children are special to those who parent them.
No parent who truly apply the definition of parenting above will loose that child to thuggery, terrorism and crime. The duty of a parent is not just to provide food and clothing for their children, it is much more than that and the earlier we know the better for our society.
If all we know best to do as a man or husband is to jump on our wives and produce dozens of children without proper up bringing, then we should be rest assured that they will bring shame and reproach to us if care is not taken. I speak in this manner because of the rate at which my brothers and sisters are getting involves in immorality and criminality, Thuggery and drugs addiction.
The first institutions that is expected to infuse value system to our children is the family institutions. And it is the responsibility of our parents (father and mother) to communicate that value system to the subconsciousness of their children.
During my morning devotion i began to list the names of all the criminals killed in Kogi central, my home. I began to make research on how well they were brought up. Listen, I mention Kogi central does not mean other constituency is free but my assignment is to get my house in order before asking others to clean up their houses. Charity, they say begin at home
Daddies and mommies, it is time to change our method of raising children. It is not by force to have dozens. Born the number you can train and give them your best.
From history, Ebira people are not known for crime, we are known for good Character (Ebira), hardworking, skills and high moral values. The failure of our parents couple with the bad governance since the creation of the state have thrown us to this mess. Thank God for the government of Yahaya Bello who is committed to the Security of life and property and total eradication of thuggery from the state.
Some of our youths now enjoy criminality and immoral lifestyles just as a way for footing their bills and have food for the family. Time to stop raising lazy children is now. It time we bring back that value system that produce Late John Lawal, late Onukaba, Late HRH Sanni Omonori, Late A.T Ahmed. ETC. These men pour out their best, They lay a moral and political foundation that usher in development that we can still point at today. They are someone children. They exchange their love for money for people, they exchanged their selfish interest for people interest, they understand what leadership and fatherhood is all about. They place community first before ambition. May their soul rest in peace.
All these men are someone children what is wrong with our own?
I am sure if they are permitted to look up here from the eternity they will weep when they see the type of lazy children we are producing, what they have become and how they kill themselves for riches and for political gain. I am also very sure this was not the picture at back of their mind when they were struggling and sweating building the wall of Ebiraland.
I am afraid, and no one care to ask, where is:
A. T Ahmed of our time?
Sanni Omonori of Our time?
John Lawal of our time?
Atima of our Time?
Dr. Onukaba of our time?
Dr Apoti our time?
Instead, we are more divided over clan and political interest instead of coming together to lay a foundation that will produce the best and the fittest among us.
Our children are armed with tales of discomforting events that passed down many generations in place of 21st century tools that aid peace, unity and development. This manner and way of raising children can only pose threat to the society and trust me we will all have ourselves to blame when it start to manifests.
Every father, husband is divinely positioned as the Grand Commander of his home. You are equipped with wisdom to govern, protect, and to provide the necessary needs for your household. But many of them have failed in this regard, they rather choose to fight for clan than focus on how to raise a child that will shun crime, political thurgery and be a useful asset to the society.
My father also has his own weaknesses, no one is infallible; he could not give me the best education. I struggle with education in my life but I commend him for one thing. “Constantly he said to me, son, I know I have failed in given you the best education but I will do all my best not to fail in moral advise.” He went further to say, “Education will teach you story and history but I will teach you experience, event I have wittnessed, touch and handle. He said, listen to me because no one will teach or tell you this after me”
“I remember 28 Dec 1998, he said, if you refuse to be somebody yourself no one will complain or been in pain of your decision but you.”
Our Fathers/mothers, if you die today what would your children say about you?
Remember Parenting is a call to duty.
If you need to sell all you have to send your children to school do it is a worthy investment.
If you need to farm to send them to School, Please do is it worth it.
If you need to beg to send them to school don’t think twice please do so that they will not beg in the future but be a blessing to their community. Moral advice should be returned back to our society.
My mother did not go to school, she was not previledge to attend primary school not to talk of secondary but she thought me simple lessons with regard to parenting.
Each time we went to the farm to fetch firewood to sell, she will say to me, “I am doing this for you people (children) even if I work naked today, I know I will be covered in the future.” sometime I wept when I go back to my past yet my parent never enjoy any form of criminal activity from us.
I was raised in Hunger, school in Hunger, Introduce to child labour, force to learn how to farm yet my father will say, the day you cling to people property I will make sure you are disgrace publicly.
We must know that, what we tell our children with live with them till eternity. My mom never enjoy the sweat of her labour over us yet she never seize to pray for us. God know he cannot physically be everywhere and He gave us mother. I Salute all the mothers in Ebiraland and kogi at large. But you need to fasten your belt.
Remember It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone and such child might end up creating havoc in the society. God will not use another ethnic children to fix our society He will use you and I to make Ebiraland great in our life time.
We must in Each day of our lives make deposits in the memory banks of our children. This will live with them after we left them here.
No wonder Jane D Hull say, “At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.”
What we do and say also fashion our children.
It is Robert Fulghum who say “Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you” parent watch what you do because most children took over their parents lifestyle and re-developed it to suit their way.
The true legacy a man can leave behind for his children is not materialism or property but wisdom to discern between good and evil.
In conclusion, dad and mom, our potential fathers and mothers, remember that There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings. Get them rooted in wisdom and provide the education or knowledge (wings) to navigate through life.
I pray as we wake up to take responsibility of this call as a steward may God grant us the grace and wisdom to do our best. May He give us a child that will be the hear and the doer of the word.
God bless our fathers
God bless our mother
Our Children Will Never Be The Same Again.
– Ogo’Ogu MD
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