Marriage is a legally and socially sanctioned union, usually between a man and a woman, that is regulated by laws, rules, customs, beliefs, and attitudes that prescribe the rights and duties of the partners and accords status to their offspring (if any).
In a time like this, the Covid-19 lockdown is for you. This time can make your marriage work again. A lot of couples have lost confidence in their partner. Research suggests that over 23,000 couples has divorced their partner this year and over 47,00 has filed for divorce to separate from their partners.
Define your problems. Spend some time looking at your relationship and figure out which parts work and which parts don’t. Adedayo suggests that you take a moment to imagine a perfect day in your perfect relationship. What would this look like? How would you and your partner interact? Then create a plan of how you might get from point A (your current reality) to point B (that perfect day). Write it down if you need to, then start breaking the issues into bite-size pieces and tackling them one at a time.
Marriage is a gift from God. That man, that your partner you married 5years ago is still the same person. I will not agree with you that divorce is the last solution. In this lockdown period you can have your partners back.
How to make your marriage work again:
Resist entering into a critical mindset. There may be a time when your partner did something that hurt you and never apologized for it. Maybe they even continue to do it, despite you letting them know that it bothers you. This can cause you to develop bitterness towards them. All you need now is forgiven, go back to your partner, all what you need is to have free your mind and love him/her again.
Treat your spouse with kindness. Instead of being critical, try treating your partner with kindness, it’s the key to keeping your love alive. Research has shown that taking more loving actions actually makes you feel more in love. In any interaction with your partner, whether it’s personal or practical, try to be kind in how you express yourself. This softens your partner, even in heated moments. Continuing to be loving and generous has a huge payoff as it not only keeps love alive, it fosters a deeper level of intimacy.
Reflect on what you love and appreciate in your partner. What qualities about your spouse do you admire or feel amused by? If you like that they’re adventurous, keep sharing new activities. If you enjoy their playfulness in your communication, encourage bantering and the sharing of new ideas. If you value that they’re warm and affectionate, make sure to connect with them each day, rather than getting caught up in other quotidian things. Your husband or wife will appreciate your interest in doing things with them that you know they enjoy, and it’s likely they’ll do the same right back for you.
Take your fighting gloves off. Don’t duke it out. Instead, consider taking a time-out. There is a concept called ‘loss aversion’ in economics, which simply means we really hate to lose. And when we think we are losing, we fight like there is no tomorrow to try to win. It happens when couples talk about hot-button issues like sex, housework, money, or the kids. If either person thinks he or she is losing, he or she will ratchet up the stakes and escalate the issue. The next time you see a spousal spat going to a not-so-happy place, take a break and revisit the subject when neither one of you feels overwhelmed by the topic.
Just do it. By “do it” we mean have sex. Intimacy is an important part of a romantic relationship, and one of the first areas to suffer if feelings are floundering. But sex can also be one of the quickest ways to reconnect and rekindle with your partner. Of the many forms of couple intimacy a smile across a room, a kiss, a touch, sex has the potential to be the most powerful positive physical experience most of us enjoy. Ways to Save Your Relationship…Without Leaving Your Bedroom. This is especially true if sex results in emotional fulfillment, better communication, security, and reassurance.
Burn your grudges. If not for any reason, do it because of your children, do it because of those that didn’t believe you can make it work again. Lay a good example for your children.
Covid-19 is here to make you reason on how to make your marriage work again, the best time for the couples. When time permit me I will disclose more and give you more reasons you don’t need to leave your partner.
– Adedayo Oluwafemi Success
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