Good Parenting: An Essential Factor for Nation Building Part 2

“To be a good father and mother requires that the parents defer many of their own needs and desires in favor of the needs of their children. As a consequence of this sacrifice, conscientious parents develop a nobility of character and learn to put into practice the selfless truths taught by the Savior Himself” – James E Fauest”

At the age of 8, I was introduced to child labour. I became a meat seller just to get my family out of poverty by contributing my own quota. My boss then was Jerry By name. He was an Igala man from Kogi East. Other guys who encouraged me then to work with them are Danladi and Abdul, both are Igala.

He resides in the township while our shop was in ASCOL Camp Ajaokuta. We kill cow, Ram to supply white men and sell the rest. I became a profession Boucher then. I roast cow head for customers, Boucher and get paid.

Everything I know how to do today was as a result of trying to come out of the shackles of Poverty. I have too much to say about my past unashamed but to liberate my brothers and sisters. At a point I became a hunter to the extent that every animal in the forest can recognise my foot steps and voice. There were several options for me but I choose to engage my brain and my hands. You cannot raise a lazy child without joining the gang of political thug and tout.

I could have joined thuggery, armed robbery, kidnapping but I never did.

Your parents failed in some part, so are mine:

They did not send you to school so are mine.

Thuggery is an act of laziness; we must all wake up and condemn it.

Distinguish Ladies and gentlemen of Kogi central, fathers and mothers, potential fathers and mothers, I humbly salute you all. Do not be surprised that I pick on you for such a time as this, and is not to say we don’t have responsible parents. The reason for this is to re-prepare us to the task ahead of us as parents and to go back to the history and search how our forefathers/mothers are able to produce the best of the generation that lay this foundation you and I are abusing and polluting.

Before I walked my heartthrob to down the aisle on the 24th Dec 2015, I have different view about parenting but when the reality hit me I began to reposition myself to the challenges ahead of me.

When Mayim Bialik said “I came to parenting the way most of us do – knowing nothing and trying to learn everything. He was not joking the differences is in the learning. We can have a better parenting system if we all begin to learn the skills and put them at work.”

I want to believe you have read part 1 of this article. If you have that’s great, but if you have not ensure you take advantage of it to fully understand where I’m coming from.

Fathers and mothers, I want you to know today, the security of life and property of our state, and nation constitutionally is the responsibility of the government but morally is your responsibility. The safer the family the safer the society.

Criminality and immorality, and drugs addict which has become the way of life in the land, does not begin from adulthood, it is from childhood and parents overlooked them saying, “when he or she grows up she or he will change.” No, do something about it now.

In the cause of writing this article my daughter sighted me and she began to cry, I quickly drop what am doing to pick her then I began to sing her favorite  songs, instantly I gain understanding how parent can influence their children by their routine.

When you held your Child in your arms the first time, and all you think of is how to influence him/her, it’s a tremendous responsibility.

What you do with him/ can influence not only him/her but everyone he/she meets and not for a day or a month or a year but for time and eternity. The decay in the land can be traced to our elders, who in their time do not consider the implications of their action and inactions on their wards.

Every thug, kidnapper and prostitute,drug addict etc belongs to a family. They are someone’s child. Parent how do you feel when your children belong to any of this groups? In contrast, every president, governor, house of assembly member, house of representative member, chairman of LGA, commissioner, etc all belong to a family. Parents, was there a time you were worried why your children are not privileged to be part of this group instead being use as thug and be killed later?

One thing I will want dad and mom to know is this, the world will never use criminals, thugs, robbers, and kidnapper to fix their problem but skilful men and women with Ideas and wisdom. “If you cannot invest in your children now what are you going to reap from at your old age? Think about this.

Those who know me well will understand that my passion for good governance in the state and local government cannot be overemphasised but some few months ago I began to seek better ways good governance can be made simple.

Every leaders we produce today are been fed with culture and certain believe from the family. They belong to a family. They represent the family. In fact some family will encourage their children for be corrupt, empower them for prostitution and to be extravagant with life all in a bid to drive home immediate gratification.

The future of our society is directly proportional to the family institutions (parent) we put in place now. For this reason we cannot afford to sleep on duty any longer. Get angry, and swing to action. Call your children down and register wisdom and discourage them from reckless and shameful lifestyle. I know many we say, “it is easy to say” most especially in a society like ours where government does not pay attention to family institution.

The government must as a matter of urgency constitutes an appropriate body that will assist families, most especially in the areas of education. Don’t kill our education or else you will produce more criminals in the society. It amazing in a state where political office holder earns huge amount of salary, drives exotics car worth 5-10m cannot provide lasting solution to our public schools and civil servant welfare.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Executive Governor Of Kogi State, Alhaji Yahaya Bello, I beseech you by the mercies of God to look into our education sector, and civil servant’s wages. The success of the government is the success of the people and the failure of the government is the failure of the people but more devastated than success because it will yield increase in crime and immorality which will cost us more to eradicate when their activities are overwhelming in the society.

It is high time we understand the Mystery of fatherhood/Motherhood. God in His wisdom choose our parent without consulting us and He does so to keep his word and have someone to hold responsible if anything goes wrong. If we want a society that will be filled with love it must start from our home. A Society that will be crime free starts from a crime free home.

I am screaming in this manner because children we refused to give a better education, and refuse to train will certainly become a threat to the society that even the parent will not be safe. The government and the parents are saddled with this responsibility. If any of the two fail on their part then our state and society is in threat.

The money the state and Federal government have spent so far on security is more than what is required to equipped our institutions but corruption and greed did not allow our leaders.

Our politicians send their children outside the state or country to school and place little attention to the children of the poor. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of the factors and reasons we are battling with crime today in our society. Their children cannot come home or walk in the street, because they are afraid of been kidnap.

In my research all the thugs and criminals killed recently in kogi central are academically poor and they are from failing homes. Majority of them are been taken away by drugs, and immortality is their way of live and eventually their decision have cost them and that of their parent. “This should be a lesson to our fathers/mothers, that the child you refuse to give out your best will cost the best of your life when you need it most; it is a question of time”. Only few finish their secondary schools. The truth I tell, our society cannot be better without or outside good parenting.

It is better not to bring children to this world than to bring them without proper upbringing. A man who cannot suffer for the success of his children is a mess. God forbid, I  will not hesitate and be ashamed to beg or ask anyone for help if is for the success of children education.

If you have no money, moral advice and proper guidance to your children should not depart from you. Wake up parents for your future is on red alert. “Parents who refuse to bring out the best out of their Children have not place the family in its rightful position”.

Loving a child doesn’t mean giving in to all his whims; to love him is to bring out the best in him, to teach him to love what is difficult.

My father blame his parent, I grew up now and blame my parent in part and commend them in part. The question now is what are my children going to say about me?

The trend in our community now is fathers/husbands abandon their responsibility to their wives; all they do is to marry and produce dozens of children without proper upbringing. The women carry all the responsibility while the man is doing nothing. Shame on the men whose wives are the husband.

Why do you have to bring forth a child to this world when you have no ideas or resource to cater for them? The men of old did out of ignorance but to my amazement the younger one is trading on the same path. Multiplying and complicated our problem. Who do you want to impress with children you cannot train?

The Golden Rule of Parenting is; do unto your children as you wish your parents had done unto you!

Potential Fathers and mother, potential parent wisdom demand that we pay attention to knowledge, research and equip ourselves with wisdom before venture into life time event; marriage. This is lagging in our society today. Once our third leg is calling for pleasure we assume is time to jump on woman and start producing without proper preparation. This has thrown our society in threat. We have more useless fathers than useful fathers, more lazy and criminal children than hard working  children. Where do you belong?

It is Homer who says “it behoves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be.”

It is a pity and shame that some parents encourage their children in crime and immorality because of the token he/she is getting from them. Parent don’t ask question on the source of their children’s wealth anymore. If we don’t put an end to this unholy parenting system we will all end up in the same pit with the offender.

Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message. Let us start teaching ourselves how to live right from our home before seeking for public office. This will help us in producing quality leaders and good governance in days to come.

It is sad that so many parents don’t realize what messages they are sending to the next generation by their conduct, actions or inactions.

I look forward to see my brothers and sister displaying that value system in everywhere we find ourselves, including social media.  We must show the world that Ebira men and women are of high moral values and cultured.

God Bless You

God Bless Central.

God Bless Kogi State.

Our land will never be the same again.