AN OPEN LETTER TO NLC CHAIRMAN COMRADE ONUH EDOKA: A Punishment Well-Deserve; Considering Suicide? Please don’t.
By: David Alfred-Dogwo.
Dear Edoka…
The news that reached me a few days ago is that you’re the Senior Ghost in Kogi state and I hate ghosts. I guess His Excellency Yahaya Bello really knows about your death before the press went on to announce your obituary. Has any doctor confirm you dead yet? Where is the death certificate? In Lugard House or where?
My principal Capt. Idris Ichalla Wada while in office as governor of Kogi state, knew you were alive but you rather wanted Wada ‘dead’ when APC was giving you lofty ‘greens envelopes’ to nail his administration. Do you remember the many times you rudely slighted my principal during his administration all to pave way for APC government? I was told you voted for APC during the gubernatorial election, Isn’t it? Where is your sympathy now? In Bassa belief, “Ghost Hears What We Say About Them” and I know you’re listening.
What brought Wada’s tenure to owe salaries upto what it is before we left office in January 29, 2016, was caused by you while behind the APC mask. Just to mention but few, when CBN gave approval of Bail-out to Capt. Wada, you nailed your support to APC’s petition to stop the release of the fund alleging that we were planning to divert the funds for the 2015 election. Secondly, we had enough money to pay October and November 2015 salaries, but you were sponsored to start asking for four months salaries in full. You threatened Wada in a broad day light just because you were paving ways for the two months salaries to be left untouched for the present government. You were promised to be appointed Commissioner and you did just that.
Today you’re a ghost and Wada is warming up!
You and Bello has been one of the great romances of the time. Ever since the marriage of convenience, you guys has been on marathon kiss far back December 5th and has always been the very exemplar of lovely marriage.
Little wonder that both of you have been guilty of flirtation – and sometimes adulterous couplings – at repeated intervals, for more than 100 days now.
The report of the committee on the Staff Verification Exercise hitting the 21-streets in the state walked out to shack up with you and Governor Yahaya Bello’s government. That is because Bello has decided to live on his own, (as I guess he ‘needed some space’, as the saying goes). Today, you are declared a ghost. And as you know, apart from Bello, who will want to live with a ghost? None.
You have enjoyed plenty of meaningful eye contacts with Bello as the APC agent’s of anti-Wada’s posterity, and a succession of knee-tremblers with the state and local government workers.
But on the whole, the realities are clearer now as your conjugation with Bello lacked annointing oil, first past the post, and we have seen the two sides abjure illusory happiness in the arms of another, and stick together for the sake of the pocket. This is why I said “YOU DESERVE IT” however messy it gets.
Surprise! surprise!!
Someone knocked at my door this early morning and said, you’re not yet dead. He said, he saw you in places like Adankolo, Lokogoma, Felele and even at Ganaja village yesterday. I told him its a lie you’re a dead man because Yahaya Bello has confirmed you’re dead. Another friend of mine confirmed his story that you’re a live. He saw you eating at Moremi Restaurant opposite Chuks Supermarket in cetral area of Lokoja; and I know that spirits doesn’t eat. The last that convinced me most is a friend I have trusted for a very long time who said, you’re NOT DEAD BUT YOU’RE CONSIDERING TAKING SUICIDE. Please bro, don’t commit suicide if it is true that you’re still alive. No matter how dark the sky’s may seem, no matter how stuck you feel, no matter how deep of a hole you feel like you’re in, no matter what people do, say, or think to make you feel this way; it will get better soon. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, it will be hard, but it will get better. I promise.
I won’t try and say that I understand what you’re going through or exactly what you’re feeling because I don’t. I don’t always understand every situation that leads people to have these feelings or thoughts but I do understand what it’s like to have them. I know how crippling they are. I know the feeling of losing all hope. I understand all of that. But above all, please know that whether these thoughts are coming from a close death, a breakup, an addiction, bullying, or anything else. Your feelings matter.
I’m not a doctor, I’m not a therapist or a counselor but I am somebody who has been in the same place as you are and from struggling with this I have found a few ways for me that helped and maybe can help you too.
First, by far, the best thing that I have done to help my depression and thoughts of suicide is getting on an anti-depressant prescription and having counseling sessions simultaneously. I know sometimes this option can be scary, especially the counseling part. I promise you it’s worth it. I was scared shitless the first time I went in. I was so nervous and scared and I really didn’t say much or open up a whole lot the first time which is okay. The way I think about it now though is that it’s just someone to spill all my problems onto, it’s someone to talk things through with and understand them better, it’s someone who won’t judge and won’t leave but just be there to help you get better and live a happier life.
The second piece of advice I have for you to find something you love. Find something that will always make you smile or put you in a good mood. For me it’s music. If I am having a bad day I lock myself in my room and listen to music so loud that I’m pretty sure I will have permanent hearing loss but that’s okay because that’s the one thing that can always make me feel better. It doesn’t matter what this something is but if you find it I promise it will make things at least a little bit better. It could be a sport, art, a game, a hobby, whatever it is just as long as it makes you happy and it’s something you love doing.
The last piece of advice I have for you would be to just picture the future. For me it was picturing my life in 15 years. Picturing having a family with a gorgeous wife and beautiful kids in a cookie cutter house in a safe neighborhood where my kids would make their best friends, where all of the families are friends, and just a nice suburban neighborhood. I pictured myself in my job getting to work with kids and watch them grow and learn throughout the years. Having summers off to tennis and coach my kids sports teams. All of those things were what got me through the times where I couldn’t see any light and didn’t see the point in living anymore. Whatever your dream new job, family, house, and life is try and picture it.
There’s always someone who cares about you and would be devastated if you were no longer with them whether you believe it or not there is. There’s going to be bad days where it seems like the only way out is suicide but it isn’t. There is so much to live for, it’s just hard to see sometimes but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. On a cloudy night you might not be able to see the moon but it’s still there and still puts off light you just can’t see it won that particular night.
Now that you’re a live, learn your lesson and stop playing-toys with Capt. Idris Ichalla Wada. You will need to find time and apologise to him for forgiveness. Wada is a child of God. No one insults him and go free.
Oncemore, don’t go to the grave. I will tell Wada you’re still alive.
Thank you.
Signed:
David Alfred-Dogwo
(Dogwo is former Senior Special Assistant to His Excellency Governor Idris Wada on Communications Startegy; a highly decorated Ambassador of Peace cum keen political Activist and radical Social Justice Campaigner. He is lately high profile member of the Nigerian Advocacy for Good Governance locally, regionally and federally.
+234 803 4768 404
davidalfrreddogwo@rocketmail.com
