Basically, I think that most times, alcohol has a way of making a fellow spill out harsh truth without giving a damn whatsoever. Beer emboldens the mind. For record sakes, I do not give nod to the act of getting drunk. In other to find some salient truth, I decided to visit a local bar down the street. It is a regular meeting point to the wretched as well as those with wealth. In there, everyone plays it cool. I think it is fair to say, beer takers exhibit a trait of brotherliness- they are always ready to share and buy for…
I found a secluded spot and ordered for a bottle of whatever. Soon, other souls began to troop in ordering different brand of drinks. In no time, the place was bumbling with life.
“This country nawa oh” said a husky voice “I used to buy this same brand for two hundred naira” he added. Apparently, he was dissatisfied with the increment in price.
“My guy” a voice called out to him
“Yes?”
“See ehn, I feel your pains. Only a few persons are truly satisfied with the present situation of this country”
“Who are they?”
“The ten percent mogul” thundered a voice from another table.
This is actually getting interesting. It was as I expected it to be.
A man rose up and motioned for all to keep calm while he addresses the topic on ground.
“In this country, we are divided into two. Monkeys and baboons’. Unfortunately, the monkey continues to devour more of whatever the baboon works for. This is what I mean, recently, the telecommunications sector and the Nigerian banks had a fight over unpaid Unstructured Supplementary Service Data (USSD) charges. You all know that our economic practices seems more like jamboree right…? Well, the banks weren’t ready to pay off the debt it owed the telecommunications companies. In a bid to salvage an already bad situation, the Central Bank of No Nigeria decided that henceforth, a service charge of seven naira be effected on every USSD operation. In other words, bill the the masses to clear off the debt of the ten percent mogul. You all know them don’t you?”.
“My friend, look here”, a voice interrupted. He had an expensive suit on and spoke like some Harvard trained economist.
“The economy must function folks! something must give way for others to thrive. I mean, who gives a damn about some seven naira charges. Basically, I think Nigerians just want cheap things. They want light and good roads but find it hard to pay taxes, they want a Dubai feel with no effort”.
“Nna, Shut up” a voice roared from the back.
“What do you know? You young folks rely on some fake print read to you in a four wall class room by some fellow dressed in shirt and plain trousers. Weren’t you taught that the very essence of governance is to make life easy? In Onitsha for instance, those daredevil political errand boys will readily kill any soul that refuses to pay a particular road levy. Ironically, the roads are lying in bad States. So biko! Stop saying we want good life and can’t or don’t want to pay for it. Instead say; the government milks the people so that they can send their families and relatives to schools and hospitals abroad. You see, if the country were to be truly good, the first lady wouldn’t have bundled herself to Dubai”
Many hands gave a big clap indicating that they totally agreed with what Mazi just said.
“My people, permit me to speak again” said the man who spoke before.
“I am very much aware of your troubles and indeed the government sympathizes with you all. As you all know, I work in the ministry and whatever information I give you is firsthand. This present administration is doing her very best. You all remembered how the vice president went out to the streets to give out money to traders? There were bailouts handed over to states. More so, the government has continued to roll out programs such as the survival fund, Covid palliatives and more- this is in line with the 2016 Sustainable Development Goal. To carry out these many objectives, the government must source for fund. As we all know, funds are not gotten on the basis of promise or miracles. Therefore, when government imposes increment in prices of services and commodities it is always in a bid to source for fund”.
“Well said Mr Brighton, you talk as though our economy runs on absolute transparency. I mean, isn’t it obvious? The few rich collude together to give out stipends to selected members of the public. In turn, they seek for huge foreign loans to service it – needless to say, what you call palliatives for the poor is actually known as bail-out for the government. The trader money was ten thousand naira. An amount that cannot buy half bag of rice in the market. Truth be told, the masses are made to pay for the mess created by the wealthy. Look at Imo states for instance, political tussle has led to the wastage of tax payer fund. We don’t think it is bad to source for fund but we know for certain that with the amount of earnings realized in this country, we should be equalling the likes of Beijing, Hong Kong or Dubai in terms of development. But look at us, a monster have been made and we are earning banditry and terrorism…”
It is almost nine o’clock already. I wish I could stay back some more but I don’t keep late nights. I will definitely be back some other times to reveal to you political sermon from the beer parlor.
– Olayinka Kayode Kingsley
Email: olayinkakayodekingsley@gmail.com
