We were made to carry. That truth is carved into the ribs of every man—husband, father, leader, brother. But not every load that touches your shoulder was sent from God. Many men today are carrying weights that look noble on the outside but are empty of purpose. We lift burdens to impress bosses, to maintain fragile relationships, to appear useful—and sometimes just because we fear what happens if we say “no.” But what if strength isn’t just about lifting, but about knowing what not to lift?
Jesus was strong, but not a weightlifter for public opinion. He turned some people away, escaped from crowds, and even slept during storms. He showed us something modern men have forgotten—wisdom is part of strength. Moses nearly died carrying too much, until Jethro warned him, “You will surely wear yourself out” (Exodus 18:18). Even Samson, with all his muscle, fell—not from a lion or a Philistine—but from the wrong weight of Delilah’s lap.
We live in a world, especially here in Nigeria, where masculinity is defined by exhaustion. “Real men don’t cry,” they say. “Real men carry it all.” But that’s a lie from the pit. Even palm trees crack under constant storm. Not every tear is weakness; some tears are proof you’ve been lifting more than you were called to carry. And not every ‘yes’ is holy—some are ropes tying you to burdens never yours in the first place.
God’s design is clear: “We who are strong ought to bear the failings of the weak” (Romans 15:1). That’s not a call to carry everything—but to carry what is righteous, timely, and assigned. Some burdens serve pride, not purpose. Some help only exist to protect your image. Others—those born out of compassion, faith, and gifting—are where divine strength shines. It’s not how much you carry, but whether what you carry carries heaven’s approval.
Look around you. What needs move your heart? What roles match your strength? Where do your tears and gifts intersect? That’s where your burden lives. If you’re carrying a load that silences your joy, breaks your peace, and drags your spirit, then you’re not fulfilling God’s design—you’re performing for people. And performance always ends in collapse.
You are not Messiah. You are man. Even Jesus had help carrying His cross. Even He walked away from certain requests. So if you must rest, rest—but don’t rest under the wrong tree. And if you must serve, serve—but don’t serve in slavery to unassigned burdens. Because borrowed weight is a thief of destiny. There was a time i visited a particular Deliverance ministry and God told me, “the junior pastor is the only person carrying the load of this place, while the one who opened this place is living in enjoyment.” Sadly, few months later, the young man, carrying the loads, swell up and died mysteriously.
Men, drop what God never gave you. Carry what aligns with heaven. Your strength is not for show. Your strength is for service. And when you carry right, the world becomes lighter—for you and for those you were born to help.
– Inah Boniface Ocholi writes from Ayah – Igalamela/Odolu LGA, Kogi state.
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