Singleness often gets a bad rap. Society portrays it as a limbo state, a waiting room for the “real deal”—marriage. But what if we reframed this perspective? What if singleness was not a void to be filled but a season of opportunity?
We often scoff at the now-infamous question: “What do you bring to the table?” The reality is, no one should come to the table empty-handed. In fact, why not be the table? Equip yourself in such a way that any man or woman who approaches you will immediately recognize your value.
The misconception that personal growth attracts only “gold diggers” is one of the biggest lies society tells—especially to women. Building yourself up does not make you a target; it makes you a person of substance. The right partner will see your success as a blessing, not a threat.
Personal investment pays the best dividends. Secure that job, enroll in that course, start that business, deepen your faith, and improve your style. Buy books, read them, give to charity, go on solo trips, and prioritize your mental health. These things are not mere indulgences; they are investments in the person you are becoming.
Think about it: just as you feel like you’ve hit the jackpot when you meet someone successful and well-rounded, the right person will feel the same about you. High-quality individuals gravitate toward those who mirror their mindset and values. Those who lack depth may come along, but they will naturally fall away—unless you entertain them.
Too often, people treat singleness as a problem to solve rather than a phase to embrace. But this season is not just about waiting for “the one”—it is about sharpening your vision, strengthening your soul, and preparing for what is to come.
The more you invest in yourself, the less desperate you will be for companionship. Desperation often leads to poor choices, heartaches, and repeated disappointments. Instead of clinging to the wrong person out of fear of being alone, focus on becoming the right person so that when love does come, it finds you at your best.
Singleness is not a void—it is a foundation. Use this time wisely, not in longing but in building. The right partner will not complete you; they will complement the strong, self-sufficient person you have become.
So, dear single, put yourself first. Upgrade your life. Love will come when it’s time, but until then, do better—for you.
– Abubakar Yunusa Ojima-Ojo, freelance journalist, writes from Abuja.
