Marriage, the sacred covenant designed to be anchored in truth and mutual vulnerability, has become a theatre of illusions. The altar no longer tells the full story. Vows are recited with borrowed sincerity, rings exchanged with trembling secrets, and families rejoice over unions stitched together by curated lies. Rice and cow meats are cooked heavily, shared and eaten but beneath the lace and tuxedo lies a web of fraud—emotional, spiritual, and sometimes even sexual.
Many marriages today are nothing but a scripted drama with real tears. Couples are tying the knot not with honesty but with heavily edited truths. A man presents himself as God-fearing and responsible, yet beneath that cloak is a wandering spirit addicted to pornography, brothels, and control. A woman proclaims herself virtuous, but she’s hiding multiple abortions, a manipulative temper, or even secret children. We marry illusions, and when reality strikes, the same people who danced at our weddings now whisper about our divorces.
“Many marriages are born from deception, and only truth can redeem them.” These were the words of Bishop David Abioye in a marriage seminar years ago. Yet we live in a time when truth is considered too risky to tell before marriage—but becomes a wrecking ball after. Singles must stop choosing partners based on performance. Find someone full of truth, not just someone full of tongues.
There is a growing tragedy in Christian communities: we parade ourselves as holiness revival agents—evangelists, pastors, choir ministers, and prayer warriors—but inside, many of us are spiritually decayed. We use prayer points to cover up our moral points. We speak in tongues during the day and deceive potential spouses at night. It is not a revival of holiness; it is a revival of hypocrisy. Jesus once said in Matthew 23:27 (KJV): “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones.”
A young man of God shared a heartbreaking encounter. He visited his fiancée all the way from Kogi State to Lagos State. That same night, when he arrived in Lagos, they had fellowship and prayers. At midnight, she raped him. When he resisted and rebuked her with Scripture, she laughed and said, “I don’t care if you’re a pastor—I want what I want.” That wasn’t a woman in love; that was a spirit in lust, wearing holiness like a wig. Yet, this rot isn’t one-sided. Some male ministers do the same—anointing with one hand, violating boundaries with the other. The spiritual cloth has become a costume, not a covering.
As Juanita Bynum once declared, “You can’t have revival in the church if the bedroom is burning with secret sins.” It’s time we ask: what are we marrying—truth or titles? Are we choosing by spiritual fruit or church function? A marriage is only as real as the truth it’s built on. We may fool a congregation, but we can’t fool a spouse forever.
In Nigeria, the elders warn: “If you found a masquerade without asking questions, don’t shout when it unmasks you at midnight.” This is what is happening in homes. Marriages are crashing not just because of spiritual attacks, but because their foundations were faulty—decorated in deceit and soaked in silence. The rings were real, but the stories behind them weren’t.
Pastor Chris Oyakhilome once noted, “The Holy Spirit does not flow through lies; He moves where truth abides.” And the truth is that many Christian homes are suffering under the weight of pre-wedding deception. We’re marrying based on ministry platforms and Instagram holiness—not on godly character, truth, and tested love.
The Bible is unambiguous in Proverbs 12:22 (NIV): “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.” So how did we come to celebrate lies and call them strategy? When did we replace transparency with tactics, and sincerity with seduction? A marriage built on lies is a grave waiting for tears.
In Igala land, they say, “A basket cannot carry water home no matter how much you run.” A lie cannot sustain love. The energy it takes to pretend will eventually drain the joy out of any marriage. True love needs truth to breathe. A man who must lie to keep his wife will eventually hate her for finding him out. A woman who must manipulate to keep her husband will end up lonely, even if she’s married.
Let us not forget the story of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. They died not because they lacked money, but because they lied about it. Many marriages are dying today, not because there is no love, but because there is no truth. Deception is the slow poison of intimacy. It erodes trust like termites eat wood—from the inside, invisibly, but thoroughly.
To the single youth: don’t just fall in love, investigate your love. Ask the hard questions. Observe the fruit, not just the fire. To the engaged: tell each other the truth before it’s too late. Truth may scare someone away—but only the wrong person. And to the married: if your union was built on lies, there is still hope. Confess. Repent. Rebuild.
To the Church: enough of decorating weddings while ignoring the rot. We must stop performing marriages and start preparing marriages. Teach truth, not tricks. Counsel with boldness, not compromise. For if we continue to bless unions built on deceit, we become co-labourers in the destruction of destinies.
In the final analysis, weddings are easy. Marriages are sacred. Lies are loud, but truth always returns like a ghost knocking at midnight. The wedding day may wear a mask, but the marriage bed will always reveal the face.
And so I say again: find someone full of truth, not just full of tongues. For only truth can hold hands with love and walk the journey of marriage without shame.
– Inah Boniface Ocholi writes from Ayah – Igalamela/Odolu LGA, Kogi state.
+2348152094428 (SMS Only)
