As interesting parenting as may seem to be, it comes with a lot of demanding responsibilities. The future lies in the hands of the upcoming generation, who need to be monitored and groomed in a proper way. As the foundation of a building determines its fate, also the upbringing of a child determines his/her future.
According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, parenting is the process of raising a child from birth to adulthood, providing care, support and guidance as they develop physically, emotionally and psychologically. It involves teaching values, skills and morals to help children become independent and confident. Parenting a child is not necessarily one’s biological child or children.
However, the method by which parents from different parts of the world carryout this responsibility differ. The African parenting style is different from the Western parenting style. The Western (White) parents tends to be more permissive, individualism, communication-oriented and focuses on the nuclear family.
The African parents, on the other hand, are mostly community-based, authoritarians, they also emphasize on culture and tradition. Most times, the African parents are religious freaks.
Looking further into the African parenting style, discipline and strictness is mostly present (they are majorly disciplinarians). The African parents use various means to correct a child when he/she makes mistakes. There is a big gap between child discipline and child abuse and sometimes few parents go beyond this gap.
In May 2023, a 10-years old girl was rescued from her guardian’s home in Lagos, Nigeria after suffering severe physical and emotional abuse. The guardian, a 30-year old woman was arrested and charged with abuse. However, the woman claimed that the young girl committed an offence and she was trying to correct the young girl.
Also, sometimes in 2022, a video went viral, a mother was filmed hitting her 5-years old son mercilessly to the point that the child lost his consciousness. Is this what we see parenting as?
One thing parents should understand is most times these kind of torture in the name of discipline can make the child brutal. He/she may end up becoming a rascal or even running from home to start living on the street and in the long run may join cult or become a hoodlum. Of course, this is already affecting the nation.
The Africans believe so much in tradition and culture, they also try everything in their power to inculcate such believes in their offspring. African parents sometimes or most times distant to their children in the area of communication.
Some children may be going through depression and tend to take drastic or wrong decisions.
Although the advantage of this parenting style cannot be overlooked. An African child is most likely to survive or overcome little difficulties without any help. In terms of independence, “Iron hands” tends to be strong and wise. An African child is self dependent due to the background he/she came from, they are disciplined and respectful.
Also, in terms of morals, an African child is very respectful and portray the African culture to great extent. In sense of greetings, the way they address elders and their mode of dressing.
According to Mrs Patience Musa, a mother of two, “For every stage a child gets to, there are levels of discipline. From age 0-11, spanking may be applied they are young, they behave naughty sometimes so they should be corrected but not too extreme. Age11-upwards negotiations should be used mostly because they are growing, they now know the good from the bad. Therefore, they should be a form of communication. Listen to them and reason with them.”
She also stated that the uniqueness of a child differ, so parent should know which method to apply with their kids, what method works for their kids.
The Western parent, on other hand, believe in freedom. Believe a child can make decisions for him/herself. They give open hands to their children and communicate with them at great length. They receive the highest level of support and encouragement from their parent or guardian most times.
The Western parents are not dictative with their children, they give them their own freedom and liberty.
Will this freedom not lead to disrespect or misbehaviour?
Of course, it’s no longer a news, we hear children reporting their parents or guardian to the police because he/she was scolded or corrected in the western part of the world. The level of respect between a child and parent is quite low.
We see western children talking rudely or even yelling at their parents. This is the level the so-called freedom has brought the child to.
However, it is very important to know that the environment in which these children find themselves differ. The beliefs, the culture, the tradition, the activities of the two worlds are different. This implies that the way things or responsibility will be carried out in each part will not be the same. Both Parenting have their methods. The African sees strictness as the best way while the Western sees freedom as the best way.
In addition, sex education is very essential when training a child. Most parents do shy away from this responsibility.
According to another parent (a father), “Tell them about sex, relationships from their teenage age so they won’t make wrong decisions about these things”.
What every parent should know is whatever way or method you make use of, your child or children should not be neglected, abused or spoilt.
– Lasisi Elizabeth O.
Anyigba, Kogi State.
