Marriage is soaked in emotion, but the courtroom is not. Judges do not weigh heartbreak; they interrogate facts. Many spouses enter litigation convinced that pain itself is proof, only to exit shocked that suffering carries no evidential value. In matrimonial disputes, emotional certainty is legally useless. The law is unmoved by tears, anger, or intuition. It asks one brutal question: can the allegation be proven according to law.
Under Nigerian matrimonial jurisprudence, cheating is not a moral outrage but a technical allegation known as adultery. It is never presumed and never inferred from sentiment. Courts do not punish betrayal as sin; they examine it as a disputed fact. This distinction destroys poorly prepared cases. What is obvious in the bedroom often collapses in the witness box, because legal truth is narrower, colder, and far less forgiving than emotional truth.
Suspicion, however intense, is legally sterile. Rumours, prophetic impressions, neighborhood gossip, and intuitive certainty are evidentially worthless. Nigerian courts have long maintained that suspicion cannot replace proof. Digital traces; messages, call logs, screenshots; may suggest intimacy, but suggestion is not proof. Without proper authentication and statutory compliance, such materials are fragile and frequently rejected. The law demands structure, certification, and continuity, not screenshots harvested in rage.
Physical indicators fare no better when standing alone. Hotel receipts show movement, not misconduct. Social-media exposure is often self-sabotage, converting alleged victims into defendants facing defamation claims. Public accusation without judicial backing is not courage; it is legal recklessness. The courtroom is not a public square. Once reputations are unlawfully damaged, the legal spotlight shifts from marital betrayal to civil liability. The law has no patience for trial by hashtags.
Matrimonial litigation is therefore a technical contest, not a moral theatre. The standard of proof may be civil, but allegations of adultery demand evidence that is clear, cogent, and resilient under cross-examination. Weak cases do not fail because judges lack compassion; they fail because law has standards. Evidence gathered like a blogger seeks attention; evidence gathered like a litigant secures judgment. In court, feelings are noise. Facts are authority.
Yet beneath legal failure lies a deeper crisis: the collapse of the fear of God in the end time. Many men cheat not merely because opportunity exists, but because reverence has died. Appetite has replaced accountability. Pleasure has dethroned conscience. Scripture foresaw this decay: “In the last days… men shall be lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God” (2 Timothy 3:4). When the fear of God evaporates, restraint evaporates with it. Adultery becomes a symptom of spiritual erosion. C.S. Lewis warned, “You cannot break the law of God; you can only break yourself against it.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer exposed the root when he called it cheap grace, belief without obedience, forgiveness without repentance. African wisdom seals the verdict: “When the shrine is abandoned, the village invites chaos.” Until reverence is restored, fidelity will remain fragile, and betrayal will continue to parade as normal in a generation that has forgotten that God still sees, even when spouses stay silent.
– Inah Boniface Ocholi writes from Ayah – Igalamela/Odolu LGA, Kogi state.
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