At the core of today’s fractured society, where marriages collapse with alarming frequency and masculinity is reduced to caricature, a resounding truth is re-emerging: God’s formation of His people is deliberate, painstaking, and always fourfold—maturity, manhood, motive, and marriage. These are not mere stages but divine crucibles, and through them the architecture of destiny is constructed.
From the outset, the Apostle Paul sets the tone: “Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men” (1 Corinthians 14:20). This injunction is not simply ancient counsel; it is an urgent diagnosis for a generation enthralled by speed but starved of substance. Pastor Chris Oyakhilome underscores this with clarity: “God is more interested in who you are becoming than in what you are doing.” Thus, the conversation must begin not with activity, but with identity.
Consequently, maturity is revealed not in chronology but in consecration. As Job confessed, “When He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold” (Job 23:10). It is therefore not delay but design when God holds back promotion until character is tested. Indeed, Bishop David Oyedepo cautions: “Spiritual maturity is not measured by years in church but by depth in obedience.” In other words, obedience, rather than longevity, is the true currency of stature.
Flowing from this is the call to authentic manhood. In a cultural climate where masculinity is confused for dominance or economic prowess, the Scriptures remain unambiguous: “Quit you like men, be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13). But here again, Dr. Paul Enenche offers a piercing corrective: “Manhood is not in the size of your muscles but in the strength of your responsibility.” Responsibility, not recklessness, defines manhood. For where this order collapses, fatherlessness multiplies, and society bleeds.
Furthermore, God does not stop at the outer expression of strength; He penetrates the inner engine—motive. As Hebrews 4:12 reminds, “The word of God is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” This means that while men applaud the visible, God weighs the invisible. It is no wonder Archbishop Nicholas Duncan-Williams insists: “If the motive is wrong, the miracle will not last.” Thus, what matters is not simply what is performed before men but what was conceived before God.
And then, the crucible of marriage. Here, the interplay of immaturity, counterfeit manhood, and corrupt motives manifests most painfully. Holy Scripture raises the bar with uncompromising clarity: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). This demand shifts marriage from romance to responsibility, from convenience to covenant. Bishop David Abioye speaks unflinchingly: “Marriage is not for boys; it is for men. Boys play with toys, but men build homes.” To trivialize marriage is to misread its kingdom purpose.
Therefore, maturity, manhood, motive, and marriage are not isolated virtues but interconnected threads in God’s tapestry. As Isaiah foresaw: “I will make a man more precious than fine gold; even a man than the golden wedge of Ophir” (Isaiah 13:12). This rarity emerges only through divine fire. Evangelist Yinka Yusuf affirms: “God will never use an unbroken man. The breaking is the making.” Such breaking is neither cruelty nor abandonment but craftsmanship.
Ultimately, the narrative is unyielding: while men obsess over platforms, God insists on processes; while they crave speed, He invests in depth. The kiln of silence, the season of obscurity, the weight of delay—all converge to birth a maturity that cannot be imitated, a manhood that cannot be counterfeited, motives that cannot be polluted, and marriages that cannot be shaken.
Thus, as Jeremiah observed, “So he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it” (Jeremiah 18:4). In that remaking lies the secret: God is not breaking men to destroy them but refining vessels to carry His eternal purpose.
– Inah Boniface Ocholi writes from Ayah – Igalamela/Odolu LGA, Kogi state.
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